Improving Communication
How to improve communication in your relationship
It’s no secret that conflict exists in all relationships. While there will be moments of delight, appreciation, and growth, there will also be times of division, disagreement, and miscommunications; it is an innate part of life.
As individuals we have differing values, intentions, and perspectives that may lead to a challenging conflict. Conflict mixed with poor communication may result in one or both of you experiencing blame, relationship anxiety, or resentment. All of these things combined may increase the likelihood of separation.
Luckily, there are countless strategies to help you and your partner deal with conflict in a healthy and constructive way. If you and your partner know how to communicate effectively, conflict can provide you with the opportunity for growth and change!
Strategies for improving communication
During a disagreement or miscommunication you might feel inclined to get defensive or block out your partner's side of things. During these “battles” you and your partner may not be listening to understand each other, rather, you are listening only to defend your point of view. Oftentimes these disagreements can escalate quickly, resulting in a loss for both partners! Preventing these battles requires both commitment and proactive effort. Here are some strategies to help prevent these battles or any less than ideal situation with your partner.
Cultivate non-judgemental communication. A great way to cultivate a judgment free zone is to practice active listening with your partner. When you are fully engaged and seeking to understand your partner's perspective this creates an environment where you and your partner feel safe expressing your thoughts and feelings.
Exercise empathy. Yes this one can be hard at times, but empathy aides in fostering connection and understanding. Practice consciously looking at the argument from your partner's point of view, as it will help you understand their experiences and emotions. If you are able to acknowledge where they are coming from, it will be easier for you to validate their feelings even if you do not necessarily agree.
Using “I” statements rather than blaming/criticizing. Using I- statements during conflict can help you communicate your feelings, concerns, or needs without assigning blame to your partner. These types of statements increase opportunities for dialogue and decrease the likelihood of defensiveness.
Take breaks if needed. You and your partner may reach a point in your discussion where you are both heated or emotions have just escalated. There is nothing wrong with mutually agreeing to take a step back. Resume the conversation later when both of you feel a bit more composed and at ease.
Find common ground. After all is said and done you are a team! During these trying moments, work to find areas of agreement and compromise. Working towards solutions that include both perspectives will make it much easier to find common ground and satisfy both of your needs, wants, desires, and so on.
The most important thing to remember is that resolution for some issues takes time and will require ongoing effort and a willingness to prioritize the harmony and health of your relationship! You might even need to ask for help and that is okay! If you and your partner are committed to practicing patience and respect, then your efforts will foster nothing less than understanding, compromise, and a shared sense of growth and connection.
growgood psychology has a team of therapists ready to help you improve your communication with your partner.
Our team of therapists are ready to help you figure out what may be hindering healthy communication, as well as how to manage it. Finding common ground and compromising can be difficult- you don’t have to figure it out alone! Connect with us today to begin working towards healthier communication with your partner and healing!