How Women Can Begin To heal from Chronic Fatigue and Burnout

“The problem is the world has turned “wellness” into yet another goal everyone “should” strive for, but only people with time and money and nannies and yachts and Oprah’s phone number can actually achieve”  - Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA

The system in place puts women at an immediate disadvantage - The patriarchy, capitalism, and the health & beauty industries want us to believe that spa days and green juices will fix the true problems that women face daily. 

If that isn’t a cure for our chronic fatigue and burnout then somehow it’s our fault - we must not be ‘trying hard’ or ‘doing’ enough.

Day after day you are faced with adversity and day after day you find ways to conquer it - despite all that you are doing to manage your stress, you are still exhausted and fighting the uncomfortable feelings of being stuck - this is the patriarchy at work. 

Oftentimes, it is difficult to admit or even recognize how our systems are harmful, but in order to heal and grow you must understand how you are systematically disadvantaged by the patriarchy and other structures. 

How am I systematically disadvantaged? 

Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA are the incredible authors of Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle. Within this book, they illustrate how our current systems harm women - 

Gaslighting. You are being gaslighted. Over and over again you are fed false information by our systems, leading you to question what you know to be true - your intuition, your gut response loses meaning. The patriarchy achieves this by actively trying  to convince you that if something is wrong then it’s your own fault. Sometimes this is done on purpose and other times it’s due to “Patriarchal Blindness”. 
“Patriarchal Blindness”. As a result of various social constructs, “Human Giver Syndrome” is born. The concept is simple - it is the unspoken assumption that it is women’s responsibility to essentially care for everything and everybody. That women must give, give, give to no end. This cultural assumption is so deeply embedded that it quickly leads to everlasting feelings of shame and guilt around caring for oneself. The “human giver” essentially blinds you of the patriarchy because it limits your ability to see the true injustices and imbalances taking place.
The Bikini Industrial Complex. You are born inherently worthy - you simply exist and that is enough. However, as you get older you are taught that your worth is depicted by your ability to provide and give to others -  that you must succumb to society's health and beauty standards to be worth anything. The Bikini Industrial Complex sells you plausible, yet entirely ineffective products/strategies to help you conform and ‘achieve’ an absolutely impossible ideal. This industry is brainwashing you into believing that if you are somehow able to achieve these unrealistic ideals, then you will be the textbook definition of beautiful and healthy. This is a lie - your health is actually declining. Think about why our society is so obsessed with unrealistic beauty standards - it has everything to do with women’s obedience. 

Is there a way to overcome this? 

Many of you may believe that we would have to end the patriarchy to find resolve - if only it were that simple. 

You can do the next best thing -  take action every single day to  continue to challenge these patriarchal beliefs and the systems surrounding it. 

Connect. Yes, connection is an antidote - connect with nature, friends, family, or even animals. The reason connection is so vital is because it allows for you to co-regulate with others - find that healthy balance between autonomy and community/connection.
Rest, Rest, Rest. No surprise that rest is on this list. The human giver in you will try to convince you that taking time for yourself is selfish and a sign of weakness. This is your reminder that rest is an act of resistance - the patriarchy wants you weak, wants you sleep deprived and wants you burnt out. Don’t give them that power. 
Self Compassion. Inherent worth, self love, not answering to your inner critic. Self compassion grants you access to who you truly are instead of who the world wants you to be. If you are capable of acting compassionately towards others, what is stopping you from doing the same for yourself? 

And if you only take away three things from this - remember to be gentle with yourself, trust your intuition & your body, and remind yourself daily that you are enough just as you are. 

growgood psychology is here to provide you with an educational, safe, and supportive environment where you and like minded humans can heal. 
Overcoming systemic disadvantages is difficult - When met with support that is approachable and collaborative in nature, embracing your innate resources and fostering human connection in times of adversity will feel much more attainable. This space welcomes you as you continue to grow into yourself through wholeness! You are in the driver's seat, Connect with us today to get started.

Citations 
Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.