Why is feminism good for men?

How often do you believe men think about or utilize the word ‘patriarchy’? If your answer is likely never or rarely, then you are spot on. 

How many men even know the true meaning or the effect of patriarchy? If your answer is very few, then you are spot on. 

What is patriarchy & how does it hurt men? 

Generally speaking men have little to no knowledge of the true meaning of patriarchy - what it means, how it’s created, or how it’s sustained. This is where the problem begins - men have little to no awareness of a system that is denying them full access to their freedom of will; A system that is demanding them to be strong, emotionless, and violent. A system that doesn’t care if they are unhappy. 

To give a formal definition, patriarchy is a political-social system demanding that males are not just inherently superior & dominating, but have the right to maintain domination through various forms of violence and psychological torment. 

Men are taught that their worth and value is a direct correlation to their willingness to pursue power - yet to do so is to engage in an ongoing act of self betrayal. Many of which have no awareness of this betrayal because it began at such a young age - 

Boys were taught -

• their value is determined by their will to be violent (when appropriate)

• to deny their feelings

• to provide

• to be strong 

• to mask their struggles

It’s not fair nor true to say that men are unwilling to change. So, the question we must answer is how do we motivate men in a patriarchal culture to not be afraid of change, to acknowledge the ways the patriarchy is keeping them from knowing themselves, and to embrace feelings & emotions? How do we motivate such a thing when they have been taught quite the opposite?

What is Feminist masculinity & how can it help men? 

The popular opinion about the impact of feminist movement on men’s life is that feminism hurts men - women that are feminist are “man-hating” women. 

The truth, however, is that Feminism is for everyone! The essence of feminism is to restore maleness by separating it from how we define patriarchal masculinity - that males are the dominators, the superiors.  

Patriarchal masculinity reinforces that men be in this constant cycle of reaction and overreaction. That their worth is dependent on their ability to “do” or to “perform”. That violence is necessary. That they must maintain control by any means necessary. That being feared is easier than being loved. 

The point that needs to be made here is that feminism as a movement would challenge, change, and ultimately end the patriarchy. 

Feminist masculinity defines ‘maleness’ as a state of being rather than an act - to reclaim male being without being held captive by patriarchal domination. 

The point isn’t to strip males from their masculinity, but rather transform the meaning of it - to rebel against the patriarchy and find a place for the masculine that doesn’t make it synonymous with domination or aggression or violence. 

Feminist masculinity is structured in -

• integrity 

• interbeing and interdependency

• self love / inherent worth

• assertiveness

• emotional awareness 

• vulnerability 

It is Masculine femininity that gives men the opportunity to reconnect with themselves - uncovering the goodness of maleness and allowing everyone to rejoice in manhood.  

The core of masculine femininity is the commitment to gender equality and interdependency. 

Men, just like women, have the right to  love, connection, autonomy, and empathy for simply being. 

It is vital that we recognize the role that both women and men play in perpetuating and sustaining patriarchal culture - this role supported equally by men and women. When we are able to consider this, then we can begin to dismantle and change the patriarchal culture. We cannot change men, but we can encourage and urge their will to change. 

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Overcoming patriarchal culture and all that it has ingrained in us is incredibly difficult. However, when met with support that is approachable and collaborative in nature, embracing feminism and dismantling the patriarchy will feel much more attainable. This space welcomes you as you continue to grow into yourself through wholeness! You are in the driver's seat, Connect with us today to get started.

Citations 
Hooks, Bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. Washington Square Press, 2004.