HOw to rekindle your physical and emotional bond with your partner

Are you and your partner struggling with trust issues, a sense of betrayal, shame surrounding expressing emotions, or just feeling fearful with the state of your relationship? If so, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) might be just what you need. 

What is EFT? 
Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based therapeutic technique used to help individuals, couples, and families to better understand and reorganize their emotional responses. 

EFT is grounded in attachment theory - connection to others being the true source of security, safety, growth, and comfort. 

The goal of EFT is to repair and strengthen relationships by exploring the nature of emotional bonds and negative interaction patterns with yourself and partner. 

What can my partner and I expect during sessions?
Typically, EFT sessions will be centered around developing two skills - acknowledging and identifying an emotion or negative pattern & transforming them into a more useful tool in order to avoid conflict and strengthen the bond between you and your partner. 

Throughout your time in the therapy room, you and your partner can expect your sessions to look a bit like this - 

Initial sessions. In the first ‘phase’ or initial sessions you will work with your therapist to explore and identify troubling areas or patterns, as well as your strengths/goals for your relationship. As you dive into these topics you can expect to learn the following - 

• Arrive to or identity emotions -  gain an awareness to & describe the emotions you feel during/after a negative interaction with your partner 

• Understand the negative communication patterns within your relationship

• Be able to verbalize and navigate through the complexity of the emotions you are feeling not just on the surface, but deep down. 

Put simply, the goal after the first bit of sessions is to be able to recognize the negative patterns and emotions hindering your relationship, as well as taking the next step to identify your triggers and learning alternative ways to cope with them. 

Discovering how the negative cycle is impacting your relationship will help you both realize who the real enemy is - the negative cycle, not each other! You can then work together to alleviate the patterns of disconnection and work towards creating a new intimate bond. 

Reconstructing the bond. As you gain comfortability with openly communicating your triggers, your therapist may encourage each of you to share more personal fears and insecurities. This gives both you and your partner the opportunity to apply what you’ve learned thus far - listening to your partner's experiences from a compassionate lens, acknowledging that you may experience a range of emotions, and accepting that you don’t need to change or take responsibility for that experience. Sharing with one another will also give you both the opportunity to explore each of your needs -  your attachment styles, what both partners need to feel safe and secure and how both of you can communicate these needs in a compassionate and nonthreatening way. These are the elements that will aid in rebuilding a secure attachment!l

Safeguards. Now that all of the hard work has been done, your therapist will typically ask you to discuss a previous or even ongoing issue - through connection and compassion and all the work you both put in,  you and your partner will come up with a new solution. 

With EFT, problems or issues that arise should no longer result in disconnection - instead you get to celebrate all the new ways in which you are privileging your relationship, maintaining intimacy and fostering your attachment in a healthy way. 

growgood psychology has a team of therapists that are dedicated to support you and your partner during your healing journey.
Our therapists will create a safe holding space for you to explore your relationship dynamics. We are here to help you reconnect with your partner in the face of conflict and achieve a greater sense of intimacy. Connect with us today to begin your healing journey with our Couple therapists.